Not a Kid Anymore
There is no exact age when you will start changing from a boy into a man.
Look at boys in the same class at school. Some will look very young. Some will look like adults. Most will be somewhere in between.
You've heard of testosterone, right? It's a hormone made by the body. A boy's voice gets deeper because of it and it puts hair on his chest. It hits different boys at slightly different timing.
It can also bring a surge of different emotions. Maybe you've started to find certain people attractive — and all of a sudden — you get super embarrassed when you talk to them. Perhaps the stuff your mother repeats and the things she keeps doing are getting annoying. Maybe you'd love it if she would leave you alone and let you do your thing? Maybe you just feel frustrated and don't know why. That's all normal.
When you go through these changes, it can make you feel self-conscious. But guess what? That's normal, too. If you're suddenly finding certain other people attractive (and want them to like you, too), then new things might become important to you. Things like your clothes, hair, skin, and body shape.
But, having hemophilia with inhibitors doesn't change the way testosterone affects your body. So, that's just normal, too.
Everyone Goes Through It
Both teenage boys and teenage girls have times when they feel self-conscious. There aren't many people who think their body is perfect. So, if you're feeling that way, you're no different than everyone else.
So, don't be tough on yourself. If you feel down sometimes, it will pass. It's beyond your control. Everyone knows that hormones can explain most mood swings in teenagers, as you're finding out.
Talk about It
It's hard to believe, but your parents will clearly remember what it feels like to be your age. Sometimes, it helps to talk to them about what you're going through.
At the same time, most teenagers need someone else to turn to when they feel like talking. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who isn't your mother or father. Maybe someone else's mother or father, or an uncle, or aunt, or an older brother, or sister, or a favorite teacher — or just anyone.
Even if you have the coolest parents in the world, they may not seem so cool when you're a teenager. You've been through so much together in managing hemophilia and inhibitors together. That's why it can be easier — and more useful — to talk to someone else who looks at things in a slightly different way.
Hopefully you can talk to your doctor or hemophilia care team, too. Especially, if anything relating to hemophilia and inhibitors is bothering you during this time.
It's OK, Don't Worry
Don't worry. Chances are your parents won't feel too bad if you decide to talk to someone besides them. Your parents will probably even forgive you if you get angry with them or want them to leave you alone. ☺
After all, that's just what teenagers do.